The Responsible Man
If there is one great lack in adult men, Christian and non-Christian, it is integrity. That is a word that encompasses honesty, moral soundness, purity, uprightness and the willingness to take responsibility. It is this aspect of integrity that is addressed here. After a person receives Christ, responsibility should be an expected characteristic. Responsibility is one of the characteristics of a selfless man. Irresponsibility is one of the characteristics of a selfish man.
God has assigned responsibilities to kings, governors, masters, husbands and fathers. We are held responsible by God, whether or not we are acting responsibly. If we do not fit any of the above positions, we should be in training to be responsible. It is part of manhood.
We have had a worldly view of manliness. It is determined by testosterone and it results in fighting, drunkenness, and licentiousness. In many cases, the emphasis on these characteristics keeps a man from accepting responsibility -the real evidence of manhood.
Adam was irresponsible when he said to God, "The woman you put here with me she gave me some fruit from the tree and I ate" (Genesis 3:12, NIV).
Adam blamed the woman and God. God replied in Genesis 3:17:
To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat of it,’ “Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life.” (NIV)
Men have been blaming their wives ever since, and their children, and their bosses and everyone but themselves.
Abram was also irresponsible:
As he was about to enter Egypt, he said to his wife Sarai. “I know what a beautiful woman you are. When the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife.’ Then they will kill me but will let you live. Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you.” (Genesis 12:11-13, NIV)
Abram anticipated being killed by the Egyptians to get his beautiful wife. He had her tell a lie and say she was not his wife, but his sister. Pharoah took her and treated Abram well and made him rich. Pharoah and his household were afflicted with serious disease because he took Abram’s wife to be his wife. When Pharoah found out, he gave Sarai back and kicked Abram out of the country. About 20-25 years later, Abram, now called Abraham, did the same thing again with another king of another nation, only this time he lied instead of having Sarah lie. The king of Gerar, Abimelech, took her. God told Abimelech that he was as good as dead for taking a married woman. God protected Sarah. He had not touched her. Read the story in Genesis 20. This irresponsibility was passed on to Isaac. He lied to the same king about Rebekah. The unbelievers had a greater conscience about this than Abraham and Isaac. They had scorn for the irresponsibility of the believers (Genesis 26). Sarah and Rebekah were weaker and innocent.
Irresponsibility is a special kind of sin. It is a sin that holds other people responsible, someone weaker and maybe innocent. Irresponsibility is like lying. It is a cover, a means of self protection. It is selfishness to the extreme. We see it in disclaiming fatherhood, not paying child support, blaming others, wife beating, verbal abuse, not providing, and not giving love and protection.
Here are a few examples of responsible men in the Bible.
The official in John 4:46-53
Cornelius in Acts 10
The jailer at Philippi in Acts 16
The apostle Paul in I Corinthians 9, and II Corinthians 8.
Additional teaching in responsibility can be found in Numbers 30:6-8. This is in relation to the women in your home, your wife and your daughters.
There are two things that cannot be separated without causing much harm to those around you. They are authority and responsibility.
We can see it in little kids. One of the kids wants the authority. He wants to be boss. When there is trouble as the result of his leadership he is not to be found or he blames it on the other kids. He does not want the attendant responsibility. We have seen it in kings throughout history. In recent history we have seen the difference between two presidents of the United States. When they were president, they had more authority than anyone else in the world. President Truman had and used his authority. He also accepted the responsibility for his actions. He had a sign on his desk saying, “The buck stops here.” He would not pass the buck. President Clinton also used his authority, but did not hesitate to be evasive, lie and blame others. In integrity, he was not a responsible husband, father, governor or president.
A Christian man as a husband, a father, a pastor or a leader in a secular job does not have the privilege of being a boss. Even in his position of leadership he is commanded:
· As a husband:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church for we are members of his body. (Ephesians 5:25-30, NIV)
· As a father:
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4, NIV)
· As a master:
And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him. (Ephesians 6:9, NIV)
· As an elder:
To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder, a witness of Christ’s sufferings and one who also will share in the glory to be revealed: Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away. (1 Peter 5:1-4, NIV)
Notice the absence of instruction to be dictatorial over your subordinates. Notice the positive attitudes and actions required of the husband, father, master and elder. Part of our responsibility is to train our sons to be responsible.
How does one get to be a responsible man?
Recognize the attributes of a responsible Christian man.
Confess the sins of your negative attitude and actions.
Choose to be obedient to the commands of God in the Bible.
Attach yourself to a responsible man you can imitate.
Choose to be taught by responsible men personally, in books, audio cassettes or video tapes.
Do you have any of the above, or similar sins? If that is the case, seek out a Christian and tell him you want to become a Christian. Get a Bible and read Luke, John, Acts and Romans. Call, write or email me.
If you are a Christian, you need to:
1. Confess your sin and sins in specifics to God. Let’s make it stronger. Confess and forsake them. Renounce them. Repudiate them! Repent of them to God and receive the cleansing and purifying work of the blood of Christ. 1 John 1:5-10
2. Be obedient. By the grace of God, refuse to blame others for something that happened when you were in charge.
3. Choose to supply the spiritual leadership, food, housing, love, security, protection and comfort for your wife and children. That is your number one job.
4. If you wish to change, after you have confessed, get with a man who is willing to teach you by example and instruction, the “hows” of responsibility.
5. Be in the Book, reading and studying with the intention of obeying God.
6. Ask for God’s help.
For questions or more information, contact:
Community Christian Ministries
P.O. Box 9754
Moscow, ID 83843
208-883-0997
e-mail: ccm@moscow.com
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Jim Wilson was born in Nebraska in 1927, the second of six sons. He enlisted in the U.S. Navy in 1945 and received an appointment to attend the U.S. Naval Academy in 1946. In October 1947, Christ received Jim into His Kingdom. Jim married Miss Bessie Dodds and is the father of four children, the grandfather of fifteen, and the great grandfather of 5 ½. He is now 75 years old, and has been a Christian for 55 years and married for 51 years. He has been with Community Christian Ministries in full-time, personal and literature evangelism since 1956. He is the author of Principles of War and How To Be Free From Bitterness, as well as several other booklets.
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