The Marriage Covenant-Part I

By Rev. Jeffrey J. Meyers

Marriage is God’s wonderful gift to humanity. First, it is a gift that enables humanity, male and female, to rule over the earth (Gen. 1:26) and to fulfill God’s purposes for creation. Second, when men and women experience of the most intimate of all interpersonal relations, they are thereby gifted with something of the blessedness that our eternal three-in-one God experiences. God also gifts us with marriage as one of the primary images or symbols of His own relationship with humanity. We have seen that marriage is much more than a utilitarian institution for human beings. Instead, it manifests the very mystery of the story of God and man – the story of the Son of God’s love for and union with His people. The true mystery of marriage is made manifest in the Son’s love for His bride, the Church. Furthermore, we have been gifted with marriage in order that we may not be alone in this world. At least until the consummation of God’s relationship with man at the last day, we need such an intimate human bond. This is why, fifthly, the woman is given to man as a helper (Gen. 2:18), so that they can be companions, working together to glorify God in the world.

It is now important to reckon with the fundamental structure or form of the marriage relationship. The marital union between a man and a woman is a covenant.

Maximal Mystification

A good many Christians, even life-long Presbyterians, are often mystified by the concept of the covenant. What is a covenant? In early American social life, one could not live too many days without hearing the word “covenant” uttered by all sorts of people, applying it to many different kinds of situations. Some legal documents could be described as covenants. A civil magistrate was covenanted with God and the people to serve them as ruler. Covenants were written up and signed by nations outlining international agreements. Employers entered into covenants with their employees. And men and women would stand before pastors and judges on their wedding day and repeat their vows to each other.

Part of the reason why so many are mystified by the concept of covenanting is that it is almost impossible to reduce it to a slogan or nice neat definition. It is a very rich, pregnant idea or relation. It is not merely an agreement. It is not simply a promise. It isn't soley about law and legal status. It's more than friendship. A covenant is not just an association or even a contract. We may not talk about the marriage deal, or the marriage partnership, or the marriage compromise. There is no simple definition I can give you of a covenant.

To make matters worse, there is no replacement word that can easily stand in for the word "covenant." One cannot substitute the word "promise" or "agreement" or even "bond" for covenant, even though some have tried to do so. These words express some aspects of the meaning of a covenant, but they fail to embrace its fullness. Moreover, the word "relationship" is much too thin and flimsy to support the manifold dimensions of the marriage covenant. In our culture the word "relationship" conjures up images of TV sitcoms like Friendsand Seinfeld. A "relationship" is an informal, non-binding association or friendship. A relationship may or may not last. People enter into relationships for personal fulfillment and happiness, then leave them when these conditions are not being met. Marriage is not best defined or described as a relationship.

Covenant is the Word

Marriage is a covenant. That is the richest, most comprehensive term that the Bible uses to describe marriage. The marriage covenant. Maybe the best I can do is this: The marriage covenant is a formal, binding companionship between a man and a woman, instituted, defined, and regulated by God. But even that is too weak. It's not enough. As we shall see, it leaves out the dynamic process by which covenants are made - a process that reveals something of the very nature of a covenant.

There is no simple definition of a covenant in the Bible. Think about this. Perhaps God didn't provide us with a nice little definition of a covenant so that we would be driven to examine the rich contours of the covenantal relations He enters into with us and describes for us in His Word. In other words, by not giving us a cute little ten-word definition, God forces us to come to grips with the ineradicable richness of His covenantal relations with us. We are driven to contemplate the awe-inspiring contours of His covenantal initiatives as revealed in the Bible. These concrete, historical events, therefore, become the paradigms (or models) of what the marriage covenant is and what it ought to be.

Before we go any farther, there should be no question in anybody's mind that the Bible does indeed call marriage a "covenant." There are three passages in the Scriptures which explicitly describe the marital union as a covenant. I want you to see these for yourselves. The first is Proverbs 2:17, where the father is instructing his son that following his wise words will be a safeguard against the seductions of the adulterous married woman.

For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you. Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, from men whose words are perverse, who leave the straight paths to walk in dark ways, who delight in doing wrong and rejoice in the perverseness of evil, whose paths are crooked and who are devious in their ways. It will save you also from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words, who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God (Prov 2:10-17).

The second passage comes from Ezekiel 16:6-14. Yahweh describes His relations with the people of Israel. Even though He, as her Husband, has shown abundant love and grace to Israel, she has inexplicably become an adulteress, breaking the covenant with her promiscuous idolatry. Notice how the marriage is described as a solemn oath and covenant. Yahweh is speaking to Israel:

You grew up and developed and became the most beautiful of jewels. Your breasts were formed and your hair grew, you who were naked and bare. Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares Yahweh of Hosts, and you became mine. I bathed you with water and washed the blood from you and put ointments on you. I clothed you with an embroidered dress and put leather sandals on you. I dressed you in fine linen and covered you with costly garments. I adorned you with jewelry: I put bracelets on your arms and a necklace around your neck, and I put a ring on your nose, ear-rings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. So you were adorned with gold and silver; your clothes were of fine linen and costly fabric and embroidered cloth. Your food was fine flour, honey and olive oil. You became very beautiful and rose to be a queen. And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares Yahweh of Hosts (Ezekiel 16:6-14).

The third passage that expressly speaks of the marriage covenant may be found in the prophecy of Malachi, chapter 2, verses 13-16.

Another thing you do: You flood Yahweh's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, "Why?" It is because Yahweh is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not Yahweh made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. "I hate divorce," says Yahweh God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says Yahweh Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith (Malachi 2:13-16).

Now, these passages tell us that marriage is a covenant. They inform us of the fact that it is a covenant, but they do not tell us what a covenant is or how it functions. Even if there are a few hints and clues even in these passages, they don't provide us with the details or the makeup of a covenantal relationship. They don't tell us why marriage is a covenant or what is the exact form of this marital covenant.

What these passages do is force us back to the institution of marriage in the Garden with questions about how marriage is a covenant. And the text of Genesis 2 does not disappoint us, especially when we have some knowledge of God's covenants from the rest of the Scripture. So before going back to Genesis 2:18-24, we should examine the general contours and dimensions of the covenants in the Bible. Once we have this background, we can see the covenant form embedded in the narrative of Adam and Eve's wedding day, indeed, in the life of every married couple.